When the Story I Wrote Wasn’t the Story I Needed to Tell.
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Welcome to my newsletter, and thank you for being here as we count down to the April 22 release of Girl, Groomed: A Therapist’s Memoir of Trauma. In the weeks leading up to launch, I’ll be sharing behind-the-scenes reflections from the writing process—personal backstories that didn’t make it onto the page in their original form, and moments that shaped how this book ultimately came to life.
In my last newsletter, I shared the prologue as a thank-you to those of you who have been walking alongside me on this journey. Today, I want to take you further behind the scenes, into the backstory of how this book was written—beginning with my first draft. Writing a first draft is often where the real work begins, especially when the story is deeply personal. What follows is a look back at my first draft: what I thought it was, what it wasn’t, and the moment I learned that finishing a first draft doesn’t always mean you’re finished.
When the Story I Wrote Wasn’t the Story I Needed to Tell
As any writer knows—and as a newbie, I learned firsthand—grinding out a first draft of a book is a laborious effort. It takes stamina, perseverance, tenacity… oh, and dedicated chunks of time. While maintaining a full-time private practice, those elements weren’t always easily available to me. It was often a truncated slog.
I started by jotting down remembered scenes whenever I could snatch a free moment. But as I kept inviting them in, more memories bubbled to the surface. I’d wake up recalling a snippet about a horse I loved, the time our stables grieved a devastating Strangles outbreak, or the Decembers we went Christmas caroling on horseback with jingle bells braided into their manes.
Not all of these stories made the early cut. Still, I kept going—revising, refining. Finally, I had done it! A solid first draft. A cohesive, chronological story from my childhood to the present day. Done. Or so I thought.
I gave a copy to my dear friend, a writer herself. She read it and then delivered the news:
That’s a great first draft. Now throw it away and start over.”
What?!
I was incensed. I had worked so hard. I thought I had crossed a finish line, only to be told the marathon course had just been lengthened by unknown miles. I felt deflated.
That manuscript went into a proverbial drawer and remained untouched for months.
After months of ignoring my manuscript, something changed.
Opening that drawer again shifted the story — and my relationship to it — in ways I didn’t expect.
Stay tuned as Part Two continues when I open the drawer again—and begin to see the story differently.
Until then, thank you for reading and for staying with me as this story unfolds.
This post was originally shared as Part 1 of a two-part newsletter series.
Continue reading Part 2 → From Frustration to Breakthrough
is a therapist and author of Girl, Groomed, sharing her personal story of trauma and healing. Her work blends professional expertise and personal insight to guide readers on their own journeys to resilience.
