This is the traditional time of year for the making of New Year’s resolutions – as well as the typical time of year for the breaking of them. Rather than discuss these personal agreements we make with ourselves that we often have a difficult time keeping, I want to address the importance of agreements made between two people in a relationship. The making and keeping of clear agreements can not be over-emphasized, for this constitutes the very foundation of trust and integrity in a marriage.
Because of this, agreements must be treated as a sacred contract between two committed people. Everything from chores to monogamy fall under the purview of agreements. In this way, one’s actions, whether seemingly minor or major in nature, either convey a deep respect for another human being or a blatant dismissal and disregard of them. The consequences of broken agreements result in your word carrying no value or meaning to your partner. A breach of contract in a business situation is a sueable offense. How is this any less serious in an intimate relationship where so much more is at stake?
In order to be in good faith with your agreements, be very specific and have a clear, mutual understanding as to what is being agreed to.
Agree only to that which you are fully committed to following through with.
If a change in the agreement becomes necessary then the onus is on you to initiate a conversation about respectfully renegotiating the terms.
Think this is all too structured? Then be prepared for the inevitable fallout of living in a marriage infused with mistrust and resentment.
