Give yourself permission to ask, “What do I really want to do?” “And who do I want to spend it with?” And importantly, “What is the cost of – (fill in the blank) – that visit, that interaction, that have-to?”
Ask yourself, if the holidays were going to be a real reflection of “celebration” as defined by you, what would this look like? How closely does this match up with how you will be actually spending your time? It is your vacation, your holiday afterall.
If there are incongruencies, what is getting in the way of creating the very situation that you want? Guilt? Fear of the repercussions for ‘breaking rank’ with family members? Reluctance to say ‘no’? Again, what is the cost of not clearly choosing?
This heightened holiday time, often seeped in extended family and expectations, might be enjoyable, stressful or both. The question is, are you making choices or are you just following a well-paved path of obligation.
